Dear J Lo, My parents are very strict. I’m not allowed to go to parties, take the bus or wear trendy clothes. When my mom takes me shopping I buy some cute things but my dad throws a fit when he sees me and says I dress too sexy. What can I do?
Candidate for a Makeover

Dear Makeover,
I know what it’s like to have an over-bearing father. Even though your dad may seem like a control freak he just wants what’s best for you. In the movie Selena I starred as the Latin star who also had a controlling dad. In the film I tried to make flamboyant costumes for my shows but my dad thought my clothes were pornographic. When I got super famous I didn’t have to listen to him no more. Girl, choose the right career and soon your dad won’t be able to tell you what to do. Good luck.


J-Lo, Here’s the problem that’s bringing me down. I recently got out of a long-term relationship. It turns out my husband was gay and he was just using me to appease his parents and his friends. I was hurt but I’ve moved on and not long ago I met someone new! He is incredible sexy and sensitive and understand what I’m going through. The problem is he’s with someone else right now. He seems happy with her but he says I’m the one he loves. How can this love triangle be resolved? Nicole K.

Yo honey, listen up! I learned a thing or two while I was filming The Wedding Planner. First, it is not OK to go after another girl’s man. But second, true love cannot be denied. If you and your new squeeze are meant to be then there ain’t nothing no one can do about it. Now you go out there and get your man!


Dear Jennifer, I’ve always been a girl who’s got the booty going on. But lately I’ve been suffering from some kind of ass-wasting disease. I seem to have shrunk to almost half of my former glory. I haven’t been doing different exercises and my doctor doesn’t have a clue. Please help me or I will be only a shadow of my former self.
Losing the Booty

Dear Booty, Yours is the saddest letter I’ve ever received so I threw myself into research mode. After visiting numerous GPs I was still at square one. No one seemed to have any information on Ass Wasting Syndrome. All I can say for now is hold in there. I will devote myself to your cause full time until we finally have some answers.


Hi Jennifer!
Oh my god I like totally love your new record and I have all your videos on tape. I watch them again and again. OK, so my problem is this. I’m a rookie cop and recently I was saved by a mysterious stranger in a shoot out. He is like, a total fox but he won’t tell me his name or where he’s from. Should this stand in the way of our relationship?

Girlfriend, You need to kick that man’s ass to the curb. We girls have got enough to deal with when it comes to men without scary stalker tactics and if he’s keeping a secret you better imagine it’s worse than you can even imagine. This may not have been the outcome in my film Angel Eyes, but remember movies and reality are two different things! Find a nice normal boy like Puff Daddy and settle down.